I'm perplexed....while simultaneously thinking...

"What the Hell?"

Some of you may wonder why am I thinking this?

Others, I'm sure could care less....

So here's the deal....

I came here (to shoutpost) to say my stuff, but beyond that, and with the exception of one person, there's been no major connection, and that was a big part of what I sought to find. 

It seems that not only in society at large, but even here, in this small microscosm of people who obviously value speech and its power, that so many of us are so wrapped up in useless pursuits of mind, in useless self-monologues.  

Now, I admit, I like to monologue every now and again, and to some degree, I use this place as a spot to say stuff, to spout, to rant, to rave, to just be.  I mean, not every thing I say is for feedback.  There are some things are just rhetorical, but honestly, that is an extremely small portion of what I'm trying to accomplish here. 

What I'm really looking for is that connection component.

I had that "connection component" on the other site I was on.  Unfortunately, that connection was forcefully severed by "the man."

I miss it. God, I miss it so much; it's a hole I"m trying to fix/fill every day.  I guess that's a alot of what I'm trying to do here.

I'd write for days at at time, and I always knew that one person was reading because when that comment was posted, it encompassed all I'd said and felt.  It helped me breathe in and out.  It made me feel valued.  It made me feel passionate about what I was writing. Bottom line---it made me feel like an important human being.

So I ask you, what's the purpose of saying a thing, writing a thing, unless we desire some kind of feedback? 

Otherwise what's the point?

Bottom Line....

People don't write shit for their health.  I mean some might, but most of us write shit to know that we're okay, and that we are not alone.

So, tell me ---am I?

And beyond that---are you?