Today was an extremely productive day.  I ripped out all the offending grass on my front sidewalk, raked most of the back lawn, mowed the front lawn, planted flowers, re-screened a door and window, and painted some sun catchers with my son. 

Right now, I'm the kind of tired that speaks of a good night's sleep--the kind where your body trumps your mind--no matter how busy it wants to be. 

I've also just cracked a nice bottle of Cabernet, and it is a nice expensive one too.  It's so deep and red, and it reminds of days sitting on boat decks and nights in front of fires---all at the same tme--what a fabulous intermingling.

I have muddled a few things today while ripping weeds by their vile heads out of the ground, and here are a few things I've realized.  I think I knew them before, but I'm a stubborn one, so it takes me awhile somtimes to really buy into what I know is true.

#1. I really do want to fall in love.  I've said I don't, and that I don't need it so many times, I've even made myself sick.  How pathetic is it to protest a thing you most want?  Eghhh.....anyway, as the old saying goes, by the great bard himself, "I think the lady does protest too much?"  And indeed she does, and indeed I do.

#2.  I do need help.  Wow, what a revelation, right?  It's okay to ask for help.  I do plan to do it more often because there's nothing wrong with saying, "hey, could you help me with this?"

#3.  Change is good.  I can make a change in my life and not have to worry that it will irreparably damage me or my kids. Change is a part of life.  It's a good thing for all of us, no matter what our ages.

So, those things said, any single, non-alcoholic, pseudo-normal men out there....I'm looking to meet you.  Well, maybe not you, but you know.  You might have a friend?  :)

Anyway, big changes in my world.  I've obtained a new job teaching at a private school which will require me and my family unit to relocate about seven hours away.  I'm scared a bit, but more excited than anything because I feel like my life has been on pause for the last five years or so.  I'm not saying that good things haven't happened, but I feel I've been waiting--waiting for the next part of it, and I think at last it might be here. 

Anyway, I got some good advice today too.  A good and wise person told me that I need to let more people in, and let them know the kind of person I am.  To be honest, that is a scary thing for me, but I'm going to give it a try because he also let me know that letting people in doesn't mean I can't control how fast that happens.  Thanks for that!

Anyway, this is getting long, and if you haven't stopped reading you might soon. 

So, I'll sign off, and in the words of the ever knowledgeable Spock, "Live Long and Prosper."

Peace,

c.